Marriage Counseling Northern VA
Do you provide marriage counseling in McLean, VA? Does it work?
When considering entering into marriage counseling in Northern VA, it’s natural to wonder if it’s effective. While it’s not for everyone, if both spouses are open to it and are willing to make changes in their life, it can be a successful approach. Many marriages have been saved, and even loving marriages have been enhanced, after participating in counseling. Lindsey Hoskins & Associates has a full staff of licensed therapists who are experienced in working with married couples who wish to address issues that have come up in their relationship. If you live in the McLean, VA area, call our office to learn if marriage counseling is right for you and your spouse.
Is marriage counseling in McLean, VA successful for everyone?
As mentioned, it’s not for everyone, especially those who are not interested in investing themselves in the process. Without a willingness to look at one’s part in the strife and difficulties occurring in a relationship, the marriage counseling will be one-sided and probably not successful. In addition, here are some other points to consider prior to contacting us about marriage counseling in McLean, VA:
Are you sincerely interested in remaining in your marriage? If you or your spouse have already decided that the marriage is over, this can be a very difficult hurdle to overcome. If you wish to undergo marriage counseling in Northern Virginia simply as a formality prior to getting a divorce, you may not gain anything from the process.
Are you being physically abused by your spouse? If so, marriage counseling in McLean, VA will not likely stop the behavior.
Are you willing to open up to a therapist about your innermost feelings, beliefs, and other personal details? For marriage counseling in McLean, VA to be successful, this will be a necessary part of the process.
How do we choose the right therapist for marriage counseling in McLean, VA?
At Lindsey Hoskins & Associates, we recognize that everyone is different, and every marriage has its own unique challenges. In response, we have several therapists on staff, each of whom specializes in certain areas such as marriage counseling, addiction, individual counseling, and more. When you contact us, be sure and express your needs so that we can match you with the therapist who is best for you and your spouse.
How long does marriage counseling in McLean, VA take before it works?
Before entering into marriage counseling, a couple will naturally wonder how long it will take to complete the counseling and see the results. The truth is that the answer is different for every couple. The length of time it takes to make progress depends on the willingness of the individuals to work through difficult challenges, and the number of issues they wish to face. Every person is different and the time it takes to process emotional and psychological changes will vary. What is key is to be patient and gentle with yourselves and give the relationship the time it needs in counseling.
Important Signs That Marriage Counseling is Going Well
If you’ve spent some time in the marriage counseling Northern Virginia couples rely on to help save their relationships, you may wonder how you can determine if it’s been a success so far. This is only natural. Of course, you want to see results, but the results may be hard to recognize if you have different expectations. The following goes through some of the important signs that marriage counseling in Northern Virginia is a success for you and your spouse.
One of the largest signs that Northern Virginia marriage counseling is working is that you feel like your marriage is new again. Whether it’s from working to understand each other and know each other on a deeper level or having conflict and repairing it, you and your spouse may feel your relationship is new in some ways. This is a good indicator that counseling has been successful.
Working for the Marriage
The marriage counseling Northern Virginia couples turn to for improving their marriage is not designed just to help you stop fighting. Sometimes marriages seek counseling without any major conflict. Even if you and your spouse started counseling because of the fighting, just ending the arguing may not be enough to save your marriage.
Both of you need to make consistent effort to help your marriage and once you see that this effort is being made without it feeling like work, you’ve likely improved your marriage.
Past Hurt and Damages Stay in the Past
Usually when a couple looks to marriage counseling Northern Virginia residents trust, they have some form of hurt and past damages in their relationship. Therapy is designed to help you deal with those past hurts by becoming aware of them and seeing them for what they really are.
Once you’ve done the work to identify them, you can then work to heal those past hurts in your relationship. By the time you’re able to not feel any resentment or anger around past damages, you can say that marriage counseling was successful for you and your spouse.
Consistently Get Along
The marriage counseling Northern Virginia couples trust may be able to help you and your spouse get along better. The key is to remember that a few days or a couple of weeks of getting long may not be enough to stop counseling.
In order to be able to say counseling is a success, you and your spouse should aim for a solid four to five weeks of getting along together consistently. This indicates that you have reconnected and are able to deal with conflict in a healthy way, which are two of the main goals of counseling.
Will a Marriage Counselor Take Sides or Blame Me?
Fighting with your spouse has never been the highlight of your day. While it used to be a sporadic event, lately it seems to be occurring more regularly. Sometimes it feels like even the tiniest word can break out into a full-blown battle royal of words. A friend suggested that you may want to find Northern Virginia marriage counseling that will help the two of you work things through. You don’t want to throw away your marriage, but you aren’t sure if this is something that will work. You aren’t convinced a counselor can remain objective.
Marriage Counselors Establish a Safe Space
You may be nervous stepping foot into a counseling office. What if this person is judgmental? What if your spouse is not open to change? What if you turn out to be the problem? An effective marriage counselor will establish the ground rules pretty early on, usually in the first session. One of the biggies is that what happens in Northern VA marriage counseling stays there unless it is a tool or skill you need to implement. For instance, if you and your spouse start rubbing each other the wrong way, once the session ends, you both leave it in the therapy. Continuing the argument outside of the safe space is not adequate for making any strides.
Both Sides Are Heard Equally
A counselor will engage with both spouses, usually equally. While some days this may not seem to be the case, if you were able to step back, you would see that neither one of you is being given preferential treatment over the other. A counselor may suggest each of you meets with them privately on one or two occasions, to devote some more time. There may be times when you feel like the counselor is taking one side over the other; however, this may be more because you don’t agree with what they are advocating. Hopefully, you can recognize your partiality.
You and Your Spouse May Have Homework
Don’t expect to leave counseling without some homework. The counselor may suggest that you and your spouse do activities or exercises at home, including:
-Practicing kind speak
-Taking time out for each other
Practicing the strategies at home with your spouse is one way you can make strides out of therapy. Maintaining a long-term relationship takes work, and marriage counseling is one way you can get some tools you need to help. The more work you put into your relationship, the more successful you will be.
Marriage counseling can be great for many couples and these are some of the signs that counseling has been successful in your marriage. Remember that consistent action is necessary to create consistent results that builds a strong marriage. If you have any questions about how therapy may be able to help you and your spouse, call for the marriage counseling Northern VA residents trust such as Lindsey Haskins and Associates at 703-951-6409 today for a free consultation.