Marriage Counseling Northern VA
Do you provide marriage counseling in McLean, VA? Does it work?
When considering entering into marriage counseling Northern VA therapists provide, it’s natural to wonder if it’s effective. While it’s not for everyone, if both spouses are open to it and are willing to make changes in their life, it can be a successful approach. Many marriages have been saved, and even loving marriages have been enhanced, after participating in counseling. Lindsey Hoskins & Associates has a full staff of licensed therapists who are experienced in working with married couples who wish to address issues that have come up in their relationship. If you are seeking marriage counseling Northern VA area residents turn to, call our office to learn more.
Is marriage counseling in McLean, VA successful for everyone?
As mentioned, it’s not for everyone, especially those who are not interested in investing themselves in the process. Without a willingness to look at one’s part in the strife and difficulties occurring in a relationship, the marriage counseling will be one-sided and probably not successful. In addition, here are some other points to consider prior to contacting us about marriage counseling Northern VA couples are in need of:
Are you sincerely interested in remaining in your marriage? If you or your spouse have already decided that the marriage is over, this can be a very difficult hurdle to overcome. If you wish to undergo marriage counseling Northern Virginia provides, simply as a formality prior to getting a divorce, you may not gain anything from the process.
Are you being physically abused by your spouse? If so, marriage counseling Northern VA couples trust will not likely stop the behavior.
Are you willing to open up to a therapist about your innermost feelings, beliefs, and other personal details? For marriage counseling in McLean, VA to be successful, this will be a necessary part of the process.
- How do we choose the right therapist for marriage counseling Northern Virginia residents seek guidance from?
- How long does marriage counseling in McLean, VA take before it works?
- Important Signs That Marriage Counseling is Going Well
- Past Hurt and Damages Stay in the Past
- Marriage Counselors Establish a Safe Space
- Insight From a Couple’s Counselor About How to Salvage Your Marriage
- Acknowledge Your Fantasies For What They Are
- Realize That You Do Have a Choice
- Identifying Where Your Frustrations Are Coming From
- Common Myths About Marriage Counseling
How do we choose the right therapist for marriage counseling Northern Virginia residents seek guidance from?
At Lindsey Hoskins & Associates, we recognize that everyone is different, and every marriage has its own unique challenges. In response, we have several therapists on staff, each of whom specializes in certain areas such as marriage counseling, addiction, individual counseling, and more. When you contact us, be sure and express your needs so that we can match you with the therapist who is best for you and your spouse.
How long does marriage counseling in McLean, VA take before it works?
Before entering into marriage counseling Northern VA residents depend on, a couple will naturally wonder how long it will take to complete the counseling and see the results. The truth is that the answer is different for every couple. The length of time it takes to make progress depends on the willingness of the individuals to work through difficult challenges, and the number of issues they wish to face. Every person is different and the time it takes to process emotional and psychological changes will vary. What is key is to be patient and gentle with yourselves and give the relationship the time it needs in counseling.
Important Signs That Marriage Counseling is Going Well
If you’ve spent some time in the marriage counseling Northern Virginia couples rely on to help save their relationships, you may wonder how you can determine if it’s been a success so far. This is only natural. Of course, you want to see results, but the results may be hard to recognize if you have different expectations. The following goes through some of the important signs that marriage counseling Northern Virginia couples seek assistance from is a success for you and your spouse.
One of the largest signs that Northern Virginia marriage counseling is working is that you feel like your marriage is new again. Whether it’s from working to understand each other and know each other on a deeper level or having conflict and repairing it, you and your spouse may feel your relationship is new in some ways. This is a good indicator that counseling has been successful.
Working for the Marriage
The marriage counseling Northern Virginia couples turn to for improving their marriage is not designed just to help you stop fighting. Sometimes marriages seek counseling without any major conflict. Even if you and your spouse started counseling because of the fighting, just ending the arguing may not be enough to save your marriage.
Both of you need to make consistent effort to help your marriage and once you see that this effort is being made without it feeling like work, you’ve likely improved your marriage.
Past Hurt and Damages Stay in the Past
Usually when a couple looks to marriage counseling Northern Virginia residents trust, they have some form of hurt and past damages in their relationship. Therapy is designed to help you deal with those past hurts by becoming aware of them and seeing them for what they really are.
Once you’ve done the work to identify them, you can then work to heal the past pain that has been experienced in your relationship. By the time you’re able to not feel any resentment or anger around past damages, you can say that marriage counseling was successful for you and your spouse.
Consistently Get Along
The marriage counseling Northern Virginia couples trust may be able to help you and your spouse get along better. The key is to remember that a few days or a couple of weeks of getting long may not be enough to stop counseling.
In order to be able to say counseling is a success, you and your spouse should aim for a solid four to five weeks of getting along together consistently. This indicates that you have reconnected and are able to deal with conflict in a healthy way, which are two of the main goals of counseling.
Will a Marriage Counselor Northern VA Recommends Take Sides or Blame Me?
Fighting with your spouse has never been the highlight of your day. While it used to be a sporadic event, lately it seems to be occurring more regularly. Sometimes it feels like even the tiniest word can break out into a full-blown battle royal of words. It may be in your best interest to learn more about marriage counseling Northern Virginia residents respect so that you can obtain help working things through.
Marriage Counselors Establish a Safe Space
You may be nervous stepping foot into a counseling office. What if this person is judgmental? What if your spouse is not open to change? What if you turn out to be the problem? An effective marriage counselor will establish the ground rules pretty early on, usually in the first session. One thing to keep in mind is that what happens in marriage counseling Northern VA couples rely on, stays there, unless there is a tool or skill you need to implement. For instance, if you and your spouse start rubbing each other the wrong way during therapy, once the session ends, you both may continue the argument outside of the safe space. This may not be an adequate way to make strides forward.
Both Sides Are Heard Equally
A counselor providing marriage counseling Northern VA couples need, will engage with both spouses, usually equally. While some days this may not seem to be the case, if you were able to step back, you would see that neither one of you is being given preferential treatment over the other. A counselor may suggest each of you meets with them privately on one or two occasions, to devote some more time. There may be times when you feel like the counselor is taking one side over the other; however, this may be more because you don’t agree with what they are advocating. Hopefully, you can recognize your partiality.
You and Your Spouse May Have Homework
Don’t expect to leave marriage counseling Northern VA residents recommend without some homework. The counselor may suggest that you and your spouse do activities or exercises at home, including:
-Practicing kind speak
-Taking time out for each other
Practicing the strategies at home with your spouse is one way you can make strides out of therapy. Maintaining a long-term relationship takes work, and marriage counseling Northern VA offers is one way you can get some tools you need to help. The more work you put into your relationship, the more successful you will be.
Marriage counseling can be great for many couples and these are some of the signs that counseling has been successful in your marriage. Remember that consistent action is necessary to create consistent results that build a strong marriage. If you have any questions about how therapy may be able to help you and your spouse, call for the marriage counseling Northern VA residents trust such as Lindsey Haskins and Associates at 703-951-6409 today for a free consultation.
Insight From a Couple’s Counselor About How to Salvage Your Marriage
Let’s say you are reading this and debating whether to officially divorce from your spouse. Perhaps you have thought about the “what if’s” and how your life may be better if you did finally part ways. But, before you make that decision, you may want to try marriage counseling Northern VA relies on at Lindsey Hoskins & Associates first. That is, if both you and your spouse are committed to seeing if therapy can help salvage your marriage.
Therapists providing marriage counseling Northern Virginia couples trust share that there are a few ways that you can help save yourselves from divorce:
Acknowledge Your Fantasies For What They Are
Well before a couple has officially decided to divorce, chances are they have fantasized about what it would be like to live on their own without having to deal with the current problems in their marriage. It is important to acknowledge that sometimes these are unrealistic beliefs that life will be perfect post-divorce.
During marriage counseling Northern VA couples seek for help, the therapist may ask both spouses to fast forward to the more likely future of shared custody of children, alimony payments, and splitting debts and assets. The grass may not be greener on the other side, as they originally thought. Visualizing this can put couples more in touch with what life would actually be like versus what they conjure up in their fantasies.
Realize That You Do Have a Choice
Couples who are almost ready to divorce may feel stuck in their marriage and just want out. They may feel like this is the only choice left. However, a therapist providing marriage counseling Northern VA couples recommend, may remind a couple that they can make the choice to change for the better in order to save it from divorce. If both spouses agree to work on their relationship, this means they are open to adjusting their communication patterns, changing priorities, and healing wounds that they caused the other.
Identifying Where Your Frustrations Are Coming From
Therapists available for marriage counseling Northern VA can count on, share that many intimate partners don’t realize they are unconsciously looking to the other to validate an aspect of themselves that they couldn’t experience or express while growing up in their family. In other words, the same characteristics that we adored in the beginning can turn into frustrations later on, because these qualities represent an element of ourselves that we deny, reject, or repress. Essentially, this also means that many couples don’t truly understand what drives their anger, resentments, withdrawal, and defensiveness. Thankfully, a couples counselor available for marriage counseling Northern VA couples need, can certainly help a couple identify and work through these challenges.
Write Down Necessary Changes
During a couples counseling session, the therapist may ask spouses on the brink of divorce to write down their top three most necessary and critical changes that they need their spouse to fulfill for the sake of the marriage. The intention of this exercise is to express your needs without pointing fingers, while also helping your spouse understand just how dire the situation has become. When both spouses agree to make an effort towards their partner’s list, it can renew a sense of optimism into the relationship.
Marriage counseling Northern VA couples seek assistance from is available at Lindsey Hoskins & Associates. Call us today for more information about how we can help.
Common Myths About Marriage Counseling
If you and your spouse are having difficulties in your marriage, you may be thinking about getting marriage counseling in Northern VA. However, you may have heard several myths that are making you think twice. Here are some common myths about marriage counseling you shouldn’t believe:
It’s a Sign of Weakness If You Get Marriage Counseling: This couldn’t be farther from the truth. Seeking marriage counseling is anything but weak. In fact, it takes a strong and brave person to realize that you need help in your marriage.
A Marriage Counselor Will Take My Spouse’s Side: A common reason why some people shy away from marriage counseling is because they believe the counselor will take their spouse’s side. However, marriage counseling isn’t about blaming anyone. If you did something in your marriage that you’re not proud of, like having an affair, don’t be afraid of your counseling shifting the blame on you. Instead, he or she will try and help you determine why you had the affair in the first place and help you move forward.
Marriage Counseling Will Fix My Spouse: Too many people go into marriage counseling in Northern VA believing it will magically change their spouse. However, your spouse is the only one who can change his or her behavior. Counseling will certainly give your spouse the tools he or she needs to make a positive change, but your spouse has to actually want to change.
A Stranger Can’t Help My Relationship: At first, it might seem strange for someone who doesn’t know you or your spouse to help you with your marriage. However, it’s actually more beneficial to have an impartial third party help you through your marital issues. A marriage counselor doesn’t know either of you, so he or she doesn’t have anything to gain by lying to you. He or she will tell you the truth.
If You Need Marriage Therapy, You’re Headed for Divorce: Fortunately, this isn’t true. It’s actually a positive thing that you’re considering therapy. It means that you believe your marriage is worth saving and just need some extra help doing it.
Marriage Counseling Is Too Expensive: Some couples shy away from marriage counseling in Northern VA because they don’t think they can afford it. However, counseling is much less expensive than getting a divorce. If you invest in therapy right now, it may pay off in the end.
“Dr. Hoskins is a gifted therapist. She is incredibly kind and gentle, and provides excellent, thoughtful care. Her new office location in Sterling is really beautiful – you instantly feel comfortable and at ease here. Her night and weekend office hours really accommodate any busy professional’s schedule. I highly recommend her!”