Even the best of relationships can hit a rough patch every once in a while. It’s how the couple handles these issues that can determine whether they are able to get past them and back on track. Unfortunately, often what happens is that over time, the couple has developed certain patterns that repeat over and over again, making it difficult to work through disagreements and contributing to the buildup of resentments and stress. If you live in Virginia and this is where you and your spouse find yourselves, it may be time to consider couples counseling in Reston, VA. The following are some common questions that the clients who come see us have regarding counseling and how it can help.

How common are power struggles between a couple who is having marital issues?

Couples who are having marital problems often use different aspects of their life to gain the upper hand. There can be power struggles over issues with the children, money, how free time is spent, friendships, and relatives. One of the most common areas of power struggles is the couple’s sex life and one spouse may feel the other is using sex as a weapon. Being able to address power struggles with a neutral third party (your therapist) can help end this type of behavior. Often, spouses do not even realize they are doing it.

What if one spouse is having a difficult time releasing negative emotions that come from the problems the couple is having?

Failure to let go of anger, fear, or other emotions can and often do prevent feelings of love and tenderness to thrive in the relationship. Although it is important to feel and process all emotions, the key to a healthy relationship is to be able to let go of the bad feelings once you have processed and shared your feelings with your spouse. Many couples are finally able to share and release those negative emotions with each other during couples counseling in Reston, VA.

How important is listening to your spouse?

Failure to pay attention to what the other spouse is saying can be the death knell of any relationship. Spouses need to really listen to what each other are saying and not be so quick to try to “solve the problem” for them. People appreciate being heard.

The same is true about being able to open up emotionally with each other. This is critical to achieve and keep intimacy between the two and is what distinguishes our relationship with our partner compared to our relationships with friends, co-workers, etc.

Couples counseling can teach couples how to achieve this again or, in some cases, for the very first time.

Is there a difference between what a spouse “thinks” compared to what they “feel” about an issue?
Sometimes a spouse is unable to clearly articulate what they are feeling. Instead, they focus on what they are thinking. But in order to reach that level of intimacy so important in a marriage, we need to be able to share and understand what our partner is feeling, not just what they think. A therapist can help a couple work through this process and provide the tools for critical “emotional” communication.

Call Our Office for Help

If you are having issues in your marriage, it may be time to consider working with a therapist. Call Lindsey Hoskins & Associates to schedule an appointment for couples counseling in Reston, VA, and discover how you and your spouse can rebuild your relationship.