Pre Marriage Counseling Mclean VA
Most people think that any type of marriage counseling is only for Virginia couples who are having difficulty and are ready to call it quits. While that may be true of many couples, it is not always the situation. In fact, there are many engaged couples who decide to go to a couples therapist before they marry in order to fully understand what each partner’s expectations are of the marriage and to ensure both are on the same page when it comes to important issues. If you are planning a wedding, consider participating in pre-marriage counseling Mclean, VA couples recommend.
What Will Pre-Marriage Counseling Accomplish?
The main goal of pre-marriage counseling is to understand what each partner believes marriage is all about. While one partner may believe marriage is one way, the other partner may have a totally different idea, yet neither partner is aware of these differences. When they participate in counseling, they find out what these differences may be and are able to communicate and work through them. This is much better to do before the marriage than after.
Pre-marital counseling in Mclean, VA also gives a couple insight into how their past experiences may affect the marriage. Too often, we carry our past relationship experiences and dynamics into our current relationships. Counseling can help a person recognize these patterns and break them.
Counseling can also teach couples good communication skills, as well as skills for conflict resolutions. These skills will be critical when it comes to any issues that come up during the marriage. Individuals have their own way of communicating and this can often cause misunderstandings between couples if they don’t understand their partner’s style of communication.
And one of the most frequent issues that rears its ugly head in marriage – and is often cited as one of the main causes of divorce – is finances. Pre-martial counseling can also provide a forum where the couple can share their thoughts about money and finances. This is another issue where engaged couples may have no idea how their future spouse thinks finances should be handled in a marriage and it turns into a huge problem after the wedding. Making sure you discuss this before getting married to ensure that both partners are on the same page is vital to avoiding major conflicts in the future.
Another common issue between married couples is intimacy. Almost every couple has time during their relationship where they have some kind of issue regarding their sex life. Being able to talk to each other about these issues is crucial to having a healthy physical relationship. Your therapist can help you and your partner work through any issues that you may be having now, as well as teach you how to be comfortable discussing any intimacy issues that come up in the future.
While it may be surprising that this topic isn’t always discussed between engaged couples, it is one that will come up during pre-marital counseling in Mclean, VA. And that topic is children. Couples need to be on the same page when it comes to how many children they want – or even if they want children. There are also decisions about parenting styles, parenting responsibilities, and how involved extended family will be.
One of the most common questions asked of Mclean, Virginia couples counselors has nothing to do with relationships; it is, “How long will pre marriage counseling last?” Unfortunately, while many people would like a set timeline, the answer to that question is unknown. Some couples experience tremendous strides within the first few appointments, while others don’t make any real progress until they are further along.
The real question should be about how your relationship has floundered and what can be done to improve communication to resolve the issues at hand. The truth is that every couple is different and their problems require whatever time is necessary. For those committed to the process, there is a general idea of how long it takes for progress to occur, and there are treatments which may speed up that timeline.
The Six Session Rule
While not set in stone, many Mclean VA therapists suggest that couples can see some progress within six pre marriage counseling sessions. However, it should be noted that this is a rough estimate and does not in any way imply that issues are or can be resolved within that time allotment. Progress is incremental, and pre marriage counseling in Mclean VA is about building on those minor improvements to achieve healthier communication and rebuild trust, which in turn may promote healing in the relationship.
Emotionally Focused Therapy
Emotional stability should be the goal of counseling, which may seem strange to those hoping to save a marriage or relationship. Unfortunately, Mclean VA pre marriage counseling may not be focused on protecting the relationship but instead focused on the healthy interactions between you and your significant other. Some relationships do not work, regardless of the love that is expressed or shared.
Counseling, or more specifically emotionally focused therapy, is about connecting with and challenging individual emotional responses in an effort to promote healthy dialogue and improved communication so that the issues of a relationship can be addressed, which may lead to unpredictable revelations and outcomes. EFT therapy can be a more effective way of diagnosing underlying psychological problems than traditional treatment, which can lead to a quicker progression through the sessions.
Pre marriage counseling in Mclean VA will essentially take as long as it takes. While there are general timelines, like the six-session rule, relationships are unique and therefore require different approaches to treatment. Also, a relationship involves two people, and each of those individuals come into the pairing with their own emotions and experiences, which means that the timeline is further dependent on their personal revelations.
If you would like to discuss your relationship and find out about how pre marriage counseling Mclean VA clients recommend may help, then contact Lindsey Hoskins & Associates today and schedule an appointment.