Whataboutism in Relationships

Whataboutism in Relationships

Couple Therapy Sterling VA One of the most interesting things I observe as a couple and family therapist is how societal dynamics play out on the micro-level in relationships. Recently, I’ve been struck by the frequency with which I observe “whataboutism” on my couch, and I can’t help but notice that this is similar to

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The Nurturing Father

The Nurturing Father

Family Therapy Sterling, VA In my work as a therapist, I have had the privilege to work with and know many fathers who are engaged in their children’s lives and in nurturing them to become emotionally healthy individuals. In a culture that often portrays dads as either insensitive, bumbling fools or angry, vigilante protectors, it can

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The Folly of Emotional Reasoning

The Folly of Emotional Reasoning

Individual Therapy Sterling, VA Today’s post is another in my series on cognitive distortions — problematic ways of thinking that can lead unhealthy self-talk and to problems in interpersonal relationships. You can catch up on my previous posts on cognitive distortions (mind-reading, personalization, black or white thinking, negative filtering) if you’ve missed those in the

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Ground Rules for Empathy

Ground Rules for Empathy

Couples Therapy Sterling VA As an early step in almost every couples therapy process, I spend time talking with my clients about how to effectively communicate empathy. The vast majority of couples come into therapy with the goal of improving communication, but many have a hard time articulating exactly what it is about the way they

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Pushing Buttons

Pushing Buttons

Couples Therapy Sterling VA If you’ve been in a relationship for any length of time, I’m sure you can think of ways that your partner “pushes your buttons,” or activates emotional reactivity in you. Couples frequently tell me about ways that they touch a nerve, push a button, or poke at a soft spot in their

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