Whataboutism in Relationships

Whataboutism in Relationships

Couple Therapy Sterling VA One of the most interesting things I observe as a couple and family therapist is how societal dynamics play out on the micro-level in relationships. Recently, I’ve been struck by the frequency with which I observe “whataboutism” on my couch, and I can’t help but notice that this is similar to

Read more
Get to Know Your Valentine

Get to Know Your Valentine

There seems to be so much out there talking about how to fall in love, how to find the right person, how to know if you’re with the right person, how to know when you’re ready for love, etc. Truly at the heart of it, we are all wired for connection. But I think, quite

Read more
The Folly of Emotional Reasoning

The Folly of Emotional Reasoning

Individual Therapy Sterling, VA Today’s post is another in my series on cognitive distortions — problematic ways of thinking that can lead unhealthy self-talk and to problems in interpersonal relationships. You can catch up on my previous posts on cognitive distortions (mind-reading, personalization, black or white thinking, negative filtering) if you’ve missed those in the

Read more
Ground Rules for Empathy

Ground Rules for Empathy

Couples Therapy Sterling VA As an early step in almost every couples therapy process, I spend time talking with my clients about how to effectively communicate empathy. The vast majority of couples come into therapy with the goal of improving communication, but many have a hard time articulating exactly what it is about the way they

Read more
Pushing Buttons

Pushing Buttons

Couples Therapy Sterling VA If you’ve been in a relationship for any length of time, I’m sure you can think of ways that your partner “pushes your buttons,” or activates emotional reactivity in you. Couples frequently tell me about ways that they touch a nerve, push a button, or poke at a soft spot in their

Read more
FALL in Love All Over Again

FALL in Love All Over Again

Individual Therapy Sterling VA September has officially arrived, and with it come all the great things about fall… the kids are back in school, the leaves are starting to change, and life feels a little more structured and predictable than it did during the summer. For some, this can feel a bit dull; but I’m

Read more
Want a Better Relationship? Make Time for More Sex

Want a Better Relationship? Make Time for More Sex

A recent series of studies conducted in the US and Switzerland has lead to an important but not surprising conclusion: couples who have sex more often report feeling closer, being happier, and feeling more affection for each other. Further, researchers were able to demonstrate that affectionate touch — touch that is loving and often sexual

Read more